Difference between revisions of "Rules of Acquisition"
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Revision as of 00:41, 6 April 2020
The first Rules of Acquisition, codifying Ferengi culture for millennia to follow, were written by Grand Nagus Gint.[1] Ferengi children are expected to memorize all 285 rules of acquisition on command,[2] though females were forbidden to do so[3] prior to Grand Nagus Zek's reforms of the 2370s.[Citation needed]
- 1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.[2]
- 3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.[4]
- 6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.[2]
- 7. Keep your ears open.[5]
- 8. Small print leads to large risk.[6]
- 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.[7]
- 10. Greed is eternal.[8]
- 13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.[6]
- 16. A deal is a deal...[9] until a better one comes along.[6]
- 17. A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between Ferengi.[1]
- 18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.[10]
- 19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.[6]
- 21. Never place friendship above profit.[3]
- 22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.[3]
- 27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.[6]
- 31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother...[11] insult something he cares about instead.[6]
- 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.[3]
- 34. War is good for business.[12]
- 35. Peace is good for business.[12]
- 40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.[6]
- 41. Profit is its own reward.[6]
- 44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.[6]
- 47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.[13]
- 48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.[3]
- 52. Never ask when you can take.[6]
- 53. Never trust anybody taller than you.[14]
- 54. Rate divided by time equals profit.[14]
- 55. Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.[14]
- 57. Good customers are rare as latinum. Treasure them.[15]
- 58. There is no substitute for success.[6]
- 59. Free advice is seldom cheap.[3]
- 60. Keep your lies consistent.[6]
- 62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.[3]
- 65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.[6]
- 75. Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum.[16]
- 76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies![17]
- 79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.[6]
- 82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.[6]
- 85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.[6]
- 89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.[6]
- 94. Females and finances don't mix.[6][18]
- 95. Expand or die.[19]
- 97. Enough... is never enough.[6]
- 98. Every man has his price.[20]
- 99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.[6]
- 102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.[21]
- 103. Sleep can interfere with... (ending unknown)[3]
- 104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.[6]
- 106. There is no honor in poverty.[6]
- 109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.[13]
- 111. Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.[22][23]
- 112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.[24]
- 113. Always have sex with the boss.[6]
- 117. You can't free a fish from water.[6][Notes 1]
- 121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.[6]
- 123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.[6]
- 125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.[25]
- 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.[26]
- 141. Only fools pay retail.[6]
- 144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it ends up in your pocket.[6]
- 162. Even in the worst times, someone turns a profit.[6]
- 177. Know your enemies... but do business with them always.[6]
- 181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.[6]
- 189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.[6]
- 190. Hear all, trust nothing.[27]
- 192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.[6]
- 194. It's always good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.[28]
- 202. The justification for profit is profit.[6]
- 203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.[29]
- 211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.[30]
- 214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.[4]
- 217. You can't free a fish from water.[22][Notes 1]
- 218. Always know what you're buying.[6]
- 223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.[6]
- 229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.[6]
- 236. You can't buy fate.[6]
- 239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.[1]
- 242. More is good... all is better.[6]
- 255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.[6]
- 261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.[6]
- 263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.[30]
- 266. When in doubt, lie.[6]
- 284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.[6]
- 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.[31][32]
- Unk. Exploitation begins at home.[Citation needed]
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