Rules of Acquisition (First Splinter)

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Myriad Universes: Rules of Acquisition
Rules of Acquisition
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UFP Historical Society
First Appearance DSN410 (22 Mar 1993)
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First Splinter Timeline
(Split from the Columbia Timeline during the events of First Contact)


The first Rules of Acquisition, codifying Ferengi culture for millennia to follow, were written by Grand Nagus Gint.[1] Ferengi children are expected to memorize all 285 rules of acquisition on command,[2] though females were forbidden to do so[3] prior to Grand Nagus Zek's reforms of the 2370s.[Citation needed]

  • 1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.[2]
  • 3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.[4]
  • 6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.[2]
  • 7. Keep your ears open.[5]
  • 8. Small print leads to large risk.[6]
  • 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.[5]
  • 10. Greed is eternal.[7]
  • 13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.[6]
  • 16. A deal is a deal...[8] until a better one comes along.[6]
  • 17. A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between Ferengi.[1]
  • 18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.[9]
  • 19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.[6]
  • 21. Never place friendship above profit.[3]
  • 22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.[3]
  • 27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.[6]
  • 31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother...[10] insult something he cares about instead.[6]
  • 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.[3]
  • 34. War is good for business.[11]
  • 35. Peace is good for business.[11]
  • 40. She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.[6]
  • 41. Profit is its own reward.[6]
  • 44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.[6]
  • 47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.[12]
  • 48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.[3]
  • 52. Never ask when you can take.[6]
  • 53. Never trust anybody taller than you.[13]
  • 54. Rate divided by time equals profit.[13]
  • 55. Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.[13]
  • 57. Good customers are rare as latinum. Treasure them.[14]
  • 58. There is no substitute for success.[6]
  • 59. Free advice is seldom cheap.[3]
  • 60. Keep your lies consistent.[6]
  • 62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.[3]
  • 65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.[6]
  • 75. Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum.[15]
  • 76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies![16]
  • 79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.[6]
  • 82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.[6]
  • 85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.[6]
  • 89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.[6]
  • 94. Females and finances don't mix.[6][17]
  • 95. Expand or die.[18]
  • 97. Enough... is never enough.[6]
  • 98. Every man has his price.[19]
  • 99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.[6]
  • 102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.[20]
  • 103. Sleep can interfere with... (ending unknown)[3]
  • 104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.[6]
  • 106. There is no honor in poverty.[6]
  • 109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.[12]
  • 111. Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.[21][22]
  • 112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.[23]
  • 113. Always have sex with the boss.[6]
  • 117. You can't free a fish from water.[6][24]
  • 121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.[6]
  • 123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.[6]
  • 125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.[25]
  • 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.[26]
  • 141. Only fools pay retail.[6]
  • 144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it ends up in your pocket.[6]
  • 162. Even in the worst times, someone turns a profit.[6]
  • 177. Know your enemies... but do business with them always.[6]
  • 181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.[6]
  • 189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.[6]
  • 190. Hear all, trust nothing.[27]
  • 192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.[6]
  • 194. It's always good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.[28]
  • 202. The justification for profit is profit.[6]
  • 203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.[29]
  • 211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.[30]
  • 214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.[4]
  • 217. You can't free a fish from water.[21][24]
  • 218. Always know what you're buying.[6]
  • 223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.[6]
  • 229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.[6]
  • 236. You can't buy fate.[6]
  • 239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.[1]
  • 242. More is good... all is better.[6]
  • 255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.[6]
  • 261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.[6]
  • 263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.[30]
  • 266. When in doubt, lie.[6]
  • 284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.[6]
  • 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.[31][32]
  • Unk. Exploitation begins at home.[Citation needed]


Notes and References

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "Body Parts". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 4, episode 25 (Production number 497). Directed by Avery Brooks. Story by Louis P. DeSantis & Robert J. Bolivar. Teleplay by Hans Beimler. Paramount Pictures. 10 June 1996.
  2. 2.0 2.1 2.2 Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "The Nagus". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 1, episode 11 (Production number 411). Directed by David Livingston. Story by David Livingston. Teleplay by Ira Steven Behr. Paramount Pictures. 21 March 1993.
  3. 3.0 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Rules of Acquisition". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 7 (Production number 427). Directed by David Livingston. Story by Hilary J. Bader. Teleplay by Ira Steven Behr. Paramount Pictures. 8 November 1993.
  4. 4.0 4.1 Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "The Maquis, Part I". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 20 (Production number 440). Directed by David Livingston. Story by Rick Berman & Michael Piller & Jeri Taylor and James Crocker. Teleplay by James Crocker. Paramount Pictures. 25 April 1994.
  5. 5.0 5.1 Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "In the Hands of the Prophets". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 1, episode 20 (Production number 420). Directed by David Livingston. Written by Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 21 June 1993.
  6. 6.00 6.01 6.02 6.03 6.04 6.05 6.06 6.07 6.08 6.09 6.10 6.11 6.12 6.13 6.14 6.15 6.16 6.17 6.18 6.19 6.20 6.21 6.22 6.23 6.24 6.25 6.26 6.27 6.28 6.29 6.30 6.31 6.32 6.33 6.34 6.35 6.36 6.37 6.38 6.39 6.40 6.41 6.42 "The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Book. Simon & Schuster/Pocket Books, July 1995.
  7. Berman, Rick et al (Executive Producers). "Prophet Motive". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 3, episode 16 (Production number 462). Directed by Rene Auberjonois. Written by Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 20 February 1995.
  8. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Melora". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 6 (Production number 426). Directed by Winrich Kolbe. Story by Evan Carlos Somers. Teleplay by Evan Carlos Somers and Stephen Baum and Michael Piller & James Crocker. Paramount Pictures. 1 November 1993.
  9. Berman, Rick et al (Executive Producers). "Heart of Stone". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 3, episode 14 (Production number 460). Directed by Alexander Singer. Written by Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 6 February 1995.
  10. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "The Siege". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 3 (Production number 423). Directed by Winrich Kolbe. Written by Michael Piller. Paramount Pictures. 11 October 1993.
  11. 11.0 11.1 Berman, Rick et al (Executive Producers). "Destiny". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 3, episode 15 (Production number 461). Directed by Alexander Singer. Written by Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 13 February 1995.
  12. 12.0 12.1 Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Rivals". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 11 (Production number 431). Directed by David Livingston. Story by Jim Trombetta and Michael Piller. Teleplay by Joe Menosky. Paramount Pictures. 3 January 1994.
  13. 13.0 13.1 13.2 George, David R. III. "Raise the Dawn." Star Trek: Typhon Pact. Novel. Pocket Books, June 2012.
  14. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Armageddon Game". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 13 (Production number 433). Directed by Winrich Kolbe. Written by Morgan Gendel. Paramount Pictures. 31 January 1994.
  15. Berman, Rick et al (Executive Producers). "Civil Defense". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 3, episode 7 (Production number 453). Directed by Reza Badiyi. Written by Mike Krohn. Paramount Pictures. 7 November 1994.
  16. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "The Homecoming". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 1 (Production number 421). Directed by Winrich Kolbe. Story by Jeri Taylor and Ira Steven Behr. Teleplay by Ira Steven Behr. Paramount Pictures. 27 September 1993.
  17. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "Profit and Lace". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 6, episode 23 (Production number 547). Directed by Alexander Siddig. Written by Ira Steven Behr & Hans Beimler. Paramount Pictures. 11 May 1998.
  18. "False Profits". Star Trek: Voyager, Episode 144. Television. Paramount Pictures Corporation, 2 October 1996.
  19. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "In the Pale Moonlight". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 6, episode 19 (Production number 543). Directed by Victor Lobl. Story by Peter Allan Fields. Teleplay by Michael Taylor. Paramount Pictures. 13 April 1998.
  20. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "The Jem'Hadar". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 26 (Production number 446). Directed by Kim Friedman. Written by Ira Steven Behr. Paramount Pictures. 13 June 1994.
  21. 21.0 21.1 Berman, Rick et al (Executive Producers). "Past Tense, Part I". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 3, episode 11 (Production number 457). Directed by Rea Badiyi. Story by Ira Steven Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Teleplay by Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 2 January 1995.
  22. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "The Darkness and the Light". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 5, episode 11 (Production number 509). Directed by Michael Vejar. Story by Bryan Fuller. Teleplay by Ronald D. Moore. Paramount Pictures. 6 January 1997.
  23. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Playing God". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 17 (Production number 437). Directed by David Livingston. Story by Jim Trombetta. Teleplay by Jim Trombetta and Michael Piller. Paramount Pictures. 28 February 1994.
  24. 24.0 24.1 Rules 117 and 217 are identical. It's unclear if this is due to a publishing error in the book "The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition", or if the rule was misquoted in the episode "Past Tense, Part I". Both iterations have been placed on this list at this time.
  25. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "The Siege of AR-558". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 7, episode 8 (Production number 558). Directed by Winrich Kolbe. Written by Ira Steven Behr & Hans Beimler. Paramount Pictures. 16 November 1998.
  26. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Necessary Evil". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 8 (Production number 428). Directed by James L. Conway. Written by Peter Allan Fields. Paramount Pictures. 15 November 1993.
  27. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "Call to Arms". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 5, episode 26 (Production number 524). Directed by Allan Kroeker. Written by Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 16 June 1997.
  28. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "Whispers". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 14 (Production number 434). Directed by Les Landau. Written by Paul Robert Coyle. Paramount Pictures. 7 February 1994.
  29. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "Little Green Men". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 4, episode 7 (Production number 480). Directed by James L. Conway. Story by Toni Marberry & Jack Treviño. Teleplay by Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 6 November 1995.
  30. 30.0 30.1 Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "Bar Association". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 4, episode 16 (Production number 488). Directed by LeVar Burton. Story by Barbara J. Lee & Jenifer A. Lee. Teleplay by Robert Hewitt Wolfe & Ira Steven Behr. Paramount Pictures. 19 February 1996.
  31. Berman, Rick & Michael Piller (Executive Producers). "The Collaborator". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 2, episode 24 (Production number 444). Directed by Cliff Bole. Story by Gary Holland. Teleplay by Gary Holland and Ira Steven Behr & Robert Hewitt Wolfe. Paramount Pictures. 23 May 1994.
  32. Berman, Rick & Ira Steven Behr (Executive Producers). "The Sound of Her Voice". Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, season 6, episode 25 (Production number 549). Directed by Winrich Kolbe. Story by Pam Pietroforte. Teleplay by Ronald D. Moore. Paramount Pictures. 10 June 1998.